134+ Horrible Puns That Will Make You Groan and Laugh

If you’re a fan of bad jokes, cheesy wordplay, and puns that are so bad, they’re good, you’re in the right place.

These 137 horrible puns are guaranteed to make you laugh, cringe, and possibly roll your eyes at the same time. So, grab a seat and prepare for a pun-derful journey through the world of wordplay!

1. Food Puns That Will Make You Groan

1. I’m trying to lose weight, but it’s not working… I’m on a “see-food” diet. I see food, and I eat it.
2. Lettuce eat together sometime.
3. Don’t go bacon my heart; I couldn’t if I fried.
4. I donut know what I’d do without you!
5. You’re the apple of my eye, and the pear to my heart.
6. I’m on a seafood diet. I see food, and I eat it.
7. Pasta la vista, baby!
8. I had a pun about pizza, but it was too cheesy.
9. You bacon me crazy.
10. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s impossible to put down—just like a good sandwich.

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2. Animal Puns That Are Wildly Funny

11. I’m not lion when I say you’re paws-itively the best.
12. That cat is pawsitively adorable.
13. I’m totally otter-ly in love with you.
14. My dog’s favorite book is “Bark Twain.”
15. I like cows. They’re udderly amazing.
16. I can’t bear it! It’s too much to handle!
17. You’re the bee’s knees!
18. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Fsh.
19. That’s un-bear-able!
20. Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle? Too many cheetahs.

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3. Science Puns for Nerds and Geeks

21. I’m trying to be a better chemist, but I’m still struggling to bond.
22. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity—it’s impossible to put down!
23. I told a joke about a molecule, but I don’t think it got a reaction.
24. Never trust an atom, they make up everything.
25. I’m positive you’re the best!
26. Chemistry is all about bonds—so let’s make one.
27. I didn’t know sodium was so salty until it came up in conversation.
28. It’s not rocket science… Oh wait, it is.
29. I had to tell you this chemistry joke, it’s electrifying!
30. I was going to tell you a joke about time, but I ran out of it.

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4. Technology Puns That Are Bugging Us

31. I don’t trust computers, they’re always up to something fishy.
32. I’m reading an autobiography about a computer… it’s byte-sized.
33. Wi-Fi, oh Wi-Fi, wherefore art thou Wi-Fi?
34. I can’t believe you broke up with me over text. You just had to push my buttons.
35. My computer’s so slow, it needs a byte of caffeine.
36. What’s a computer’s favorite snack? Computer chips, of course!
37. I’m feeling a bit disconnected—my Wi-Fi is acting up.
38. Why was the computer cold? It left its Windows open.
39. I used to be a computer geek, but I couldn’t handle the bytes anymore.
40. I’m totally hooked on this tech talk… it’s shocking.

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5. Music Puns That Will Strike a Chord

41. I’m going to be sharp today.
42. You’re treble the fun.
43. I had to sing a pun, it was a note-worthy performance.
44. I’m so flat, I think I’m a music scale.
45. That joke is so sharp, it’s sharp enough to be played in a symphony.
46. My guitar is so good, it’s string-tacular.
47. My piano teacher is a real scale-evangelist.
48. I tried to start a band with my friends… but it didn’t work out; we just couldn’t find the right chords.
49. That concert was so good, it had me ‘rocking’ out!
50. I’m totally hooked on this rhythm; it’s like a beat I can’t shake off.

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6. Weather Puns That Are Forecasted to Be Hilarious

51. I’m feeling under the weather, but I’ll rain check on that excuse.
52. I can’t snow how much fun this is!
53. The weather forecast says we’ll have clear skies and puns in abundance.
54. I’m feeling a little stormy today—watch out, I’ve got thunderous jokes.
55. Don’t let it get too hot, it’s a real heatwave of puns!
56. I’m just trying to breeze through these puns.
57. I’m clouded in doubt… is this funny enough?
58. The weather’s perfect for punning; it’s partly cloudy with a chance of laughter.
59. I’m a fan of the wind—it really blows me away!
60. These jokes are snow joke—they’re as cool as ice.

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7. Classic One-Liner Puns That Will Have You Laughing (or Cringing)

61. I’m not arguing; I’m just explaining why I’m right.
62. I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high. She looked surprised.
63. I only know 25 letters of the alphabet… I don’t know y.
64. I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough.
65. I made a pun about the wind… but it blew over.
66. I’m friends with all electricians—they’re pretty current people.
67. This pun is so bad, it’s pun-ishing.
68. I used to play piano by ear, but now I use my hands.
69. You don’t want to mess with a musician… they’re always in tune.
70. I’m reading a book on anti-gravity. It’s just impossible to put down.

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8. Work and Career Puns to Get Through the Week

71. I’m in a really good job, I’m just trying to work it out.
72. I love my job as a banker, it’s really a lot of interest.
73. I worked as a construction worker… but I got bored of building.
74. I’m not lazy; I’m just on a coffee break from life.
75. You can always count on me to solve your math problems.
76. I had a job as a professional cricket player, but I got stung by the competition.
77. I’m a huge fan of HR—they always help me “recruit” good vibes.
78. I’m not a photographer, but I can totally picture us working together.
79. My boss is like a cloud—when he leaves, it’s a brighter day.
80. I work with accountants. They’re always good with numbers… but I’m number one in making puns.

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9. Relationship Puns That’ll Leave You Laughing

81. You’re my better half, but I still think I’m the punny one.
82. We’ve been together for so long, we’re practically pun-derstudies.
83. I’m falling for you, like a leaf in autumn.
84. My love for you is like a math equation… endless and complicated.
85. You’re the peanut butter to my jelly.
86. Let’s make this relationship “pun-derful.”
87. Are we a couple? Because we’re definitely “pun”-tastic together!
88. I’m totally nuts about you.
89. You’re the highlight of my day—just like the sun.
90. I “carrot” about you a lot!

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10. Holiday and Seasonal Puns for the Festive Spirit

91. I’m totally “tree-mendous” this holiday season.
92. Have an “ice” holiday!
93. You’ve got to be “snow joke” with your holiday spirit.
94. This Christmas, I’m wrapping up all my puns.
95. Let’s make it a “pun-derful” New Year!
96. Halloween was fang-tastic.
97. Let’s “leaf” the past behind and enjoy the future.
98. I’m “eggnog-atively” excited for Christmas.
99. It’s time to “sleigh” all the puns this winter!
100. I can’t wait for spring—it’s going to “bloom” with laughter.

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11. Travel and Adventure Puns to Make the Journey Fun

101. This vacation is going to be “plane” awesome!
102. I’m just trying to “jet-set” through life with no baggage.
103. You “tavel” around the world of puns like no one else.
104. That trip was so “plane” to see.
105. I’m “board” of sitting still, let’s go somewhere!
106. I’m really “high” on this new adventure.
107. This place is so great, it’s like a “tourist” attraction.
108. Let’s go on a road trip and “drive” these puns home!
109. It’s going to be a “mountain” of fun exploring!
110. I “sea” what you did there on this beach vacation.

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12. Punny Movie References for Film Buffs

111. May the puns be with you… always.
112. Life is like a movie—full of sequels and puns.
113. I’m just a “pun” in the wind.
114. These jokes are the “reel” deal.
115. I’m the “punisher” of bad jokes.
116. It’s “puns” all the way down, just like Inception!
117. This pun’s “Titanic”—it’s a big hit.
118. I’m “die-ing” for these puns to end!
119. This joke is like a good film: it’s got plenty of “plot-twists.”
120. “Catch me if you can” with these puns.

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13. DIY Puns for Handyman Humor

121. I’m “nailing” this pun thing.
122. This project is a real “screw-up,” but I’m fixing it.
123. It’s all about “building” up a good sense of humor.
124. This joke is “hammer”-ing home the point.
125. I’m going to “level” with you—this pun is really bad.
126. I’m pretty good at fixing things, I always “drill” it in.
127. I’m not great at DIY, but I “measure” up to the task.
128. This screw is “tight,” but my humor is looser.
129. My tools are “wrenching” my heart with their bad puns.
130. It’s “wired” in that these jokes are awful, but I love them.

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14. Book and Literature Puns for the Wordsmiths

131. I’m “reading” between the lines of these puns.
132. That’s a “novel” idea for a pun!
133. I can’t put this book down… just like a good pun.
134. I’m totally “spine”-tingling with excitement for this pun collection.
135. “Chapter” after chapter, the puns get worse!
136. I “page” through these puns, just to “book” my tickets to laughter.
137. This pun is “binding” me to the idea that bad jokes rule!

Conclusion: 137 Horrible Puns

And there you go—137 horrible puns to share and enjoy! Whether you’re a lover of dad jokes, cheesy wordplay, or just enjoy making others groan, these puns are sure to get a reaction. Just remember: the worse they are, the better they get!